fragile little human

With the advent of my writing fan fiction, my husband and I have some of the strangest conversations:

“Do you think if someone got a tattoo and then became a vampire the ink would be expelled from their body and the tattoo heal up?

“What do you think it would be like to have sex if you couldn’t see me?”

“Do you think there’s a romantic word for ‘cock’?”

(Yeah, that last one’s from Twitter – I didn’t come up with that on my own.)

Anyway, while waiting in line at the drive through pharmacy, we were discussing the “cock” question, when we somehow got into a discussion of women and bisexuality. Don’t ask me how we got from romantic words for “cock” to female bisexuality to the next topic. I really haven’t the slightest clue. Like I said, weird conversations.

Me: Lots of women talk about their girl crushes.
DH: What’s a girl crush?
Me: You know what a crush is, right? But it’s a woman having a crush on another woman. Not necessarily sexual, but it can be.
DH: Do you have a girl crush on anybody?
Me: Well, yeah.
DH: *way too excited* Who?
*car ahead of us mercifully moves and DH totally forgets our conversation while he talks to the chubby little pharmacy tech*

So, anyone that knows the true depths of my Twi fixation would only need about 2 milliseconds to figure out my girl crush:

Oh yeah, she’s totally hot.

DH and I had lunch the other day, and we revisited the whole girl crush topic.

DH: So who is it?
Me: *eyeroll* Who do you think it is?
DH: *pauses 2 milliseconds* Oh, it’s that girl in Twilight…that Alice girl!
Me: Yep, Ashley Greene.
DH: Cool. *evil grin*
Me: Whatever, dude.
DH: So *rubbing chin* would you rub oil all over her and let me watch?
Me: *spitting up Diet Coke* WTF? It’s not like she and are friends or something.
DH: But if you were?
Me: Would you rub oil all over Rob Pattinson and let me watch?
DH: *turning green* Oh, fuck no!
Me: *grinning* Then there’s your answer.

Oh, well, a girl can dream…